High-school facebook stalkers, come and get it!

I have always been afraid of Facebook, or Myspace or any of those other horrendous programs for putting a constructed version of one’s life on the internet. So it is only fitting that now, against every fiber of my being, I am required to keep a blog. If I haven’t seen you in years and you have been anxiously scouring the internet for some glimpse of me– maybe I hit up your boyfriend or something– look no further. Here I am! And I’ll have you know that my life is fabulous and probably better than yours. Nevermind that only four months ago I was sleeping in bed with my roommates every night for anxious delusions of ghosts. Now I am a wildly successful Artist-in-Residence in Spartanburg, South Carolina. YEEHAW!

Which is not to say that I might not enjoy blogging. My fear of the whole internet thing comes as much from what other people will do with their window into my life as what I will do with creating one. I was always the girl at the sleepover parties who would gather two other impressionable girls and giggle with them all night in a corner while everyone else yelled at us to shut the hell up and let them get some sleep already (which of course, made us laugh). I have never had the gift of brevity. And, for better or for worse, I don’t seem to keep my own secrets very well. As in, I don’t have any. Now that I’ve opened these floodgates, there’s no turning back. And maybe in ten years, my life partner will look at me and say, “my mother just found a detailed account of your first AIR orgy on the internet…did you have to say that about Derya’s toes?” So here it goes…